The SpongBob SquarePants Secret Lair is upon us, faster than anyone was anticipating. It goes on sale March 24 at 9 am PST, 12pm EST, or 4 pm Greenwich Mean Time, if that’s your zone. Three drops, and the bonus cards are as yet unknown., but the speculation is rampant and hilarious.
This is a big deal. SpongeBob has more than 300 episodes, has been on since 2010, and that’s not taking into account movies, specials, and the incredible amount of merchandise available under this brand.
So let’s dive to the deck, flop like a fish, and decide if we’re buying.
I want to start with an overview of the specific cards. Sometimes, the cards don’t matter at all, but it’s easier when the cards are at least good. (See: Miku’s first drop, Sakura Superstar) For each drop, I want to list the EDHREC numbers, the number and type of special printings, and the current price of the foil specials (if any). Those are the comparisons most helpful for something like this, although the IP goes a long way. It’s also notable that these three drops are $30 nonfoil and $40 foil, where others have been $40/$50.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Legends of Bikini Bottom
SpongeBob SquarePants as Jodah the Unifier
EDHREC: 18k as commander (#19 last two years), 16k decks
Special Printings: Showcase foil ($4) and Showcase Textured foil ($10)
This is glorious in so many ways. Spongebob is a friendly dude, happy-go-lucky, and loves to gather his friends together. Jodah does exactly that! The Showcase version is interesting, with the stained glass look of the card, but this rainbow, big eyed, giant smile is pretty hilarious when compared with the wrecking ball that Jodah represents on the board. Win.
Patrick Star as Barktooth Warbeard
EDHREC: <500 total
Special Printings: none, only reprint since Legends
This having the ‘I nailed a board to my head somehow’ meme as the art is a great choice. Are there starfish in Magic that have more abilities? Absolutely. But Patrick is dependable, he is what he is and he’s not super complex. Having the flavor text as “I don’t get it” is extra trolly and I am here for it.
Gary, the Snail as Toxrill, the Corrosive
EDHREC: 6k as commander, 38k decks
Special Printings: Silver Screen foil ($70), Showcase foil ($20)
Toxrill is a powerhouse of a commander, and while the Gary art is very nonthreatening, the irony is hilarious. The Showcase and DBF foils are good, but they won’t stand out in the same way this will, and I expect this to fit between the current special version prices.
Sandy Cheeks, Martial Astronaut as Toski, Bearer of Secrets
EDHREC: 2k as commander, 178k decks
Special Printings: Showcase foil ($6), SPG foil ($25)
By far the most popular card in this drop, I am expecting big things from Sandy. The SPG version is good, but they took a great character and put her in a great pose and I want this version in all my decks. Toski and Sandy just fit well, and she wants to be in the action, doing things, kicking butt and taking names!
Squidward, Sarcastic Snob as Grazilaxx, Illithid Scholar
EDHREC: 500 as commander, 57k decks
Special Printings: FEA ($1.50), Ampersand ($10)
Squidward is a semi-popular card to include in decks that want to bounce things in and out of play. Ninjas see a lot of value here, as does most flavors of blink decks. There were other choices here for the card but the annoying factor is perfect flavor.
Mr. Krabs, Penny Pincher as Charix, the Raging Isle
EDHREC: 2500 as commander, 26k decks
Special Printings: FEA ($2)
Not a lot of iconic crabs in Magic, but I am glad they skipped making this a Ruin/Hedron mill crab. Only really good in heavy blue decks, but this does see play in toughness matters, either for milling or for toughness-as-power reasons.
Plankton, Tiny Tyrant as Skrelv, Defector Mite
EDHREC: 1500 as commander, 86k decks
Special Printings: Showcase ($3) and Step-and-Compleat ($8)
This is the most tournament-played card in the drop, and might help the nonfoil version of the drop sell better/hold a price better. It’s also worthy for any Commander deck that needs to keep the commander safe.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Internet Sensation
Counterspell
EDHREC: 1.14 million decks
Special Printings: Several, with a very wide range of prices.
SpongeBob’s face doing this, put onto Counterspell, might be the most iconic combination of art, intent, and card use possible. I can see this as Rhystic Study “DiD yOu PaY tHe OnE” sort of thing but this is glorious in every way possible. Is there a non-Vintage Cube that wouldn’t love to have this art?
Daze
EDHREC: 20k decks
Special Printings: Invocation ($200)
I thought there had been something else over the years, a SPG or anything, but no, this is the only other special printing of Daze and that alone might be worth the price of admission. Even better is that you’ll get a certain number of Legacy players who need not just one copy, but four matching ones.
Inevitable Betrayal
EDHREC: 36k decks
Special Printings: MH2 Retro and FEA (Both $1)
I had straight-up forgotten that this card exists, but the art makes me want to play it in every blue deck! Sure, Bribery is better, but it doesn’t make the whole table nervous for a couple turn cycles. Again, iconic combination of art and card, someone at WotC deserves a bonus for this.
Force of Despair
EDHREC: 31k
Special Printings: Secret Lair Prize ($15 foil)
There are a lot of Magic cards that refer to sadness, depression, and feelings of being alone, and Force of Despair is a worthy inclusion. Sacrificing, and especially taking fun away from others, is a great way to use this art.
Night’s Whisper
EDHREC: 245k decks
Special Printings: Retro Foil WPN ($1), Dracula SL ($7 foil)
Creepy, accurate, and hilarious. Everything you want a SL to be. This should easily become the most expensive version, and I hope I have the chance to buy in cheap.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Lands Under the Sea
No point listing all the sweet cards here. Great choices from the show, and Gary features in all of them as a happy little snail taking a tour. This will be more popular than you think.
There’s a lot of discussion on how the bonus card is very likely to be SpongeBob’s house as Command Tower, and there’s a lot of folks who would love for that to be true. Including me.
Overview
One of the things I’m expecting here is a massive print run for this set. We know that the Miku lairs were cranked up between the first and the last in terms of print run, and despite all the tech glitches and problems, the Marvel Lair took several hours to sell out. I don’t think this will sell out in less than a few hours, but the supply will be pretty significant at the outset.
SpongeBob collectibles aren’t a huge market the way they are for Hatsune Miku, but the nostalgia/gifts for kids factor is through the roof here. People will want this just for a physical copy of the memes.
Additionally, I expect the lands to sell out first. It’s reasonable to assume that they printed less of the lands, since lands are usually the worst-selling part of a Lair. From a psychology perspective, it also gooses interest to have something sell out early, and push hype towards getting the rest of it sold. I imagine there will be some minor bundle discount, and I will be maxing out the bundles as best I can.
If I were ranking these, it would go memes-legends-lands, but I’m a big believer in this drop and I will be investing in both foils and nonfoils. A full set of both would be about $210, and based on past pricing, the bundle price will be something like $180. That price point is just under 15% off and I plan to max out there, getting additional single foil drops as well.
I think this drop has all the hallmarks of a success, and the only question for me is how many hours it will take to sell out. I plan on buying a lot, and I would encourage you to do the same.
Cliff (@WordOfCommander at Twitter and BlueSky) has been writing for MTGPrice since 2013, and is an eager Commander player, Draft enthusiast, and Cube fanatic. A high school science teacher by day, he’s also the official substitute teacher of the MTG Fast Finance podcast. If you’re ever at a GP and you see a giant flashing ‘CUBE DRAFT’ sign, go over, say hi, and be ready to draft.